So with Facebook and Instagram both going down for many hours yesterday it reminded me that I need to pay more attention to this little ole piece of the world. I used to blog with so much more frequently when Ian was smaller, I had a mommy blog. It is back in the archives on this site. I enjoyed that but it was not the fun enjoyable blogging of my college days. Those are not archived here, I don’t even know if they still exist they were on live journal, xanga, and myspace(those were the days). I don’t think I will blog much about my family as the boys are older and they have voice about what they want on the internet. Our lives are drastically different then they were even 3 years ago at this point. Casey was getting ready to leave the army and we were preparing to move back to Texas. Now we own our own home, have 2 reliable cars (we had two but lets just say car two was iffy for the first bit once we were back here.
Mental health wise I am the best shape I think I have ever been, there is a lot of factors to this. Some I can discuss publicly; like a great medication cocktail, amazing husband and friends, and less stress. Then there is something I can’t discuss public but if you have known me most of the time I have been active on twitter (I bet you can guess what it is).
Maybe I can talk about our Dungeons and Dragons campaigns here? Would that interest anyone? I can delve more into what is going on and who characters are and such. I am only in two active campaigns now; I play in a bi weekly Friday night game and a bi weekly Thursday game. I also play a once a month RPG based in the Dresden Files universe. It is a Fate based game, we have yet to have combat it is heavy on role playing. It has helped me role playing so much.
I still love planners, I can always write about them.
I guess it isn’t for a lack of content that I haven’t been writing but um a lack of trying. Oops, I am going to try and be better.
It is time for the leaves to change. Which means the holidays are right around the corner? What are you doing to prepare? With the help of Ian and Ollie, I got the fall decor out the other day. Ian can not wait for halloween this year, he has so many ideas on what he wants to be. I am not sure how we could even possibly make some of them happen. Ollie on the other hand is like I want candy.
We finally have answers why I feel like death most days. With some blood work we know that I am deficient in B12 and Iron. I started B12 shots and iron supplements. Any other tips or tricks?
Well, I didn’t finish the Sarah Mae Unwired Mom Challenge like she has written. I did put down the technology though.
Random FootFoot Picture
I also ended up with a stay in the mental health hospital, my mind went a little haywire and need a bit of a tweak to it’s meds. I am also starting therapy for the first time in my life, that in itself is stressful for me. Along with all that I got in a car accident the day after I got out of the hospital putting our only car out of commission. It will be two weeks this sunday, I now learned that rental car coverage is optional. So we have been up a creek with out a paddle.
That has been my last few weeks, I need a pedicure and room to breathe.
I am settled into my post bedtime what do I do now. Laundry in every step of the process, clean dishes that need to be unloaded, beds that need to be made (who cares it is almost bed time). As I listen to the wrr of the washing machine. I wish he was to cuddle with and tell about my day. Instead I write it in a letter and wait for a response about ten days for a response. I wait anxiously for the phone to ring knowing full well that it won’t. It won’t ring for at least another week, if at all before he graduates. The uncertainty of where we will be PCSing to, all this unknown is making me have more panic attacks then I can remember. I need to know how to handle all the stress and anxiety with grace.
I will overcome all this, I have no choice but to be the best wife and mother I can be. Cause he is being the best he can be. I am capable of all this. I just need to believe in myself.
Today was filled with Magic. We played outside in the sunshine; there was riding of bikes, searching for bugs, all types of boy type activities.
The day continued on with a letter in the mailbox, I can’t explain the feeling I get when I see his handwriting in the mail pile. We then spent the afternoon with Abby on an adventure, more to come on that. The day came to a close with more giggles and smiles from the boys. I want more days like this. I need more days like this.
On days like today when nothing seems to be going my way, my head one stop pounding and I am at the brink of tears. One brief moment is caught on camera and it reminds me how lucky I am to be his mama.
I miss the days when all we had to worry about was you and me. Where we more worried about plans for the weekend then how are we going to pay the rent. Our friends all lived on the same street for the most part. Now we are scattered across the world. As the days tick closer to you leaving, I wish for simpler times. I see you stress and it makes my heart hurt, I can’t remember the last time I saw you smile with ease. I miss that smile, the sounds of your laugh, the ease at which you used to go through life. We are both so nervous now that I can’t remember the last time we had a moment to work on us. We will make it thorough all these challenges and changes together as family.
So as we yearn for the days long past, we move forward boldly into the unknown. Baby as long as you are there for me, I will be there for you. We will conquer all the challenges and look back one day and laugh at these times and smile that we survived them.
Does anyone have Puppies and Rainbows they can share. At this point I need to hear something good. I don’t want to have possibly(looking more possible then not) move in with my FIL.
I do have VBS to look forward too, I can’t wait to volunteer. At least there is that.
I discharged out of the crisis program this week, so I start going to the count clinic for doctors appointments until they can get me back into the non-crisis program. Which means no more therapy, I felt like I was getting so much out of it.
And a picture of Ollie in time out, hopefully will distract you.