Time Loop

I have retreated I have noticed lately. I have been hiding from life, not just social media but life in general. I don’t know if it is the change of seasons or the stress. I don’t want to wish away time but I would like for us to be together again as a family even if it is for a short period of time. I feel like I am in the episode of SG-1 where Jack and Teal’C are in the time loop. I need to remember that at first they were frustrated and they get down, they then figure out how to make it better.

I need to figure out how to make this loop I am living bearable. I miss little things; like seeing Casey, getting the occasional moment to myself, pedicures, having time to groom.

How do I make time for myself and recover from this case of the blues.

White Flag

I am waving it, at life right now. We are at the point where we might have to choose between electricity and water. I am job hunting right beside C, but the problem is we are afraid jobs might overlap and we have no free babysitting. On top off all that C isn’t comfortable with me having a job and the mental state I am in right now. I was exited out of the therapy program. It was only a crisis program, the ironic thing is I was exited out when it looks like I need help the most. Yes, I am still taking meds but coming up with the $45 to pay for them in 2 weeks may be a concern.

All I ever wanted as a child was to be the Maker of the Rules, now all I want it the comfort of my childhood again. It wasn’t perfect but man it was a lot easier then this. Part of me wonders if Ian will remember all this, I pray not. I know Ollie won’t but man I hate this. The option of moving somewhere else we thought we had isn’t really there.

So we are scrambling to find ways to make all our bills every month. It looks like C will work 2 jobs until he leaves for Basic. People have mentioned watching other peoples kids in the afternoon, well I don’t mine occasionally watching other kids an everyday thing isn’t for me. I am at a loss.

What I really need is to get back into therapy and truck load of money (hell I would take a job for my husband).

So if I am scarce in the next few weeks it is I don’t want to be the same dang song on repeat.

Puppies and Rainbows

Does anyone have Puppies and Rainbows they can share. At this point I need to hear something good. I don’t want to have possibly(looking more possible then not) move in with my FIL.

I do have VBS to look forward too, I can’t wait to volunteer. At least there is that.

I discharged out of the crisis program this week, so I start going to the count clinic for doctors appointments until they can get me back into the non-crisis program. Which means no more therapy, I felt like I was getting so much out of it.

And a picture of Ollie in time out, hopefully will distract you.

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