When the Phone Rings

Some of the things you never want to hear are, are you sitting down, now don’t panic: cause you know news that you are about to recieve is news you don’t want to hear. That is what happened to me tonight, my step mom called me to tell me that my Daddy had been in a car accident and they were taking him to hospital via ambulance and she was 15 minutes behind him. That was all she really knew and that the guy that had hit him had drove off but had lost a lincense plate and they were trying to track him down. So I raced to find shoes, socks and get out the door leaving Casey in the middle of fixing dinner and Ian in the middle of a meltdown (I think he coudl feel that I was upset). So after what felt like forever but was record time I made it to down town Ft. Worth from Dallas (there was very little traffic suprisingly). To find my dad awake, talking, and about to have some test done. So I went out to the waiting room to sit with my family (my daddy is the oldest of 5 and the only son) while out there my Aunts lovingly picked at me, I got to catch up with a couple of cousins. Once all the test were done they said he was very lucky and could go home, just take it easy and rest. After hearing from my one of my Aunts who drove past it(not realizing it was my Daddy’s Car, he had already been take from the scene) and My stepmom my Daddy is very lucky. If there would have been a passenger they would be dead. Also I would like to thank one of my former classmates mom who was one of the first on the scene, for trying to help my Daddy and in the process breakign her own ankle. To the ASS that hit my Daddy and drove off, I understand accidents happen that I am not upset about (heck I have been in my fair share). It is the driving off that pisses me off, you are one lucky SOB to be in jail because if I had my way I would string you up and let the county see you for the ball less coward that you are. You better be glad my Daddy’s ok, otherwise the wrath of my family would have been painful. Also would it have killed you to at least called for help before you abandoned him alone and out of it in his car?

*To my readers this post is a release of my feelings, so please forgive me for mispellings and such.

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Letting Daniel Jackson Go.

So today I cleaned out my car of a little over 2 years for it to be picked up by the bank. We decided that with me staying home and Casey taking the light rail to work, we could survive with just one car. It was a sad day in some ways, I have changed so much since I got Daniel Jackson (yes I named my car). When I got him 2 years ago I still carried cozies everywhere, I found 2 in the glove box, 2 in the back of the seat pocket and 3 in the cargo space. Who would ever need that many cozies. Then I found CD’s that I thought I had lost in random places, under seats, back of the seat pockets, under the mat in the cargo space. The best find was the cd of my Cousin Rusty singing, he passed away 2 summers ago at age 19 leaving a wife and 2 babies behind. The dent in the bumper came only 3 weeks after I got my car. I used to work at a dry cleaners and had to be at work by 7 am, one morning I wasn’t paying attention and backed into a mailbox.

As of Friday we have been a one car family for a week, it hasn’t been bad. It is a nice feeling to know that by only having one car we will be brought even closer together. I don’t know what the future holds for us but I do know that we will get through it. I have only driven Casey to the train station once, I instead have been carless all day. This doesn’t bother me this is the first time since I was 18 that I have been with out a car. I oddly enough I feel free.

First Trip to the E.R.

This afternoon after Ian’s nap we were headed down the stairs to play, when I lost my footing. So as we’re falling Ian slips out of my arms and slides down about four steps crying the whole way. So I get up and run to him pick him up and check and see if he is all right, as far as I can see everything is fine. 15 minutes later he is still screaming at the top of his lungs but I can’t see anything wrong. I then call the peds office who recommended taking him to the E.R. It is at that moment I realized. That I hurt my back and tail bone in the fall and can’t really drive, so I call Abby. She arrives we head to the hospital. Once we arrived there was surprisingly only a few ppl ahead of us. Once we got to the back where he got checked out, I was told he was fine to watch for a few things and we were on our way. So now that he has been to the E.R. hopefully we won’t be going again (ever) for a long time.
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I am Now a SAHM

As of Sunday, I started a new adventure of being a sat at home mom. Wish me luck as dive in head first to a world of unknown. I am trying to get our routine figured out. Anybody have any tips. I had planned on Monday to unpack from our trip to the IL’s last weekend, that didn’t happen Ian’s gum’s were hurting so I got nothing accomplished. Yesterday was a little better I got the suitcases moved to the rooms in which they need to be unpacked. Now today I need to tackle the ever growing pile of laundry.

Enough about my boring day to day. This weekend is going to be new and different, Casey’ s little sis is taking for the weekend for our 2 year anniversary. We won’t know what to do with out the little guy for two and half days.

My first mother’s day was no different than another day, I didn’t even get a card. It was nothing like last years, when I found out that I was going to be a mom.


The previous mentioned reflection post is still in the works didn’t like what I had so I started all over.

Well Casey got offered a job!!!! He starts Monday, so that leaves me less then a week to find and make childcare arrangements. This is going to be tough.

Work is going well we just rebuilt our promo aisle display it is now Tiki themed. I really like the main display piece I will post a pic later. I am really liking this store and the managers. Some of my co-workers and I are going to be bowling in a league starting in June, I am so excited.

Ian is getting so big so quickly it is amazing at how fast he changes, he can now laugh.

Seeing the Wizard of Oz on stage was unreal. It is one of my favorite movies. The sets where very well put together. Whoever acted as the scarecrow did an amazing job.

I miss College Station so much. I love everything about that town so much. If it was possible I would love to move back there to raise Ian. It has a small town feeling with almost everything you could want to do already there.

It was good to see Flop and Nintendo. I wish that it was possible to see them more often.

Well I think I have rambled on enough tonight, more to come of the past few weeks on the next few post.

Nose to the grind Stone and Pity Party

March 22:
Today I hit the ground running at work. I started at a new store today so it is gonna take a while to get things cleaned up and organized, the vendors have been left alone for far to long. I spent hours pulling ratholed bottles and I not even half way finished. I left them a nice note saying we aren’t gonna have that anymore. I am gonna try being nice before I go into bitch mode.

March 26:
I have now been working for 3 days. I was supposed to have today off but my store is in such bad shape that I came in today to work on it some more. I am happy with the store in general it seems to have a more laid back vibe then my old one. I do miss some of my coworkers from my old store. The best thing happened when I came home from work on Sunday, Casey was burping Ian and when he noticed I was in the room he sat up straight and went oooooo. That melted my heart.

My 24 birthday is coming up in 12 days. I am excited and a little sad, I have always had something to look forward to even when it is nothing more than having people come over for dinner. This year is different I have no plans other then to work, I get off at 7 its not like I couldn’t do something. It is just tough to try and plan something. We are the first in my husbands group of college friends (I like all of these people they were just his friends first) to have a baby. So I now sometimes feel as if when they invite us to stuff is more out of obligation then them wanting to see us. I know that is probably not true but sometimes it’s how I feel. So for me to plan something with them would mean a course of no were all busy thanks maybe next time. Mostly all I really want is like three hours with my husband at home alone to watch a movie and hang out, but that isn’t possible because my mom Can only baby sit here and our previously mention friends more then likely wouldn’t want to watch Ian. The only couple that has ever offered 30 minutes away and to take him there and back just to gives a few hours alone makes me feel like I am burdening them.

Casey’s becoming more and more discouraged and it is taking its toll on me. I understand why he is, but I am the type of person that when the people I love become stressed and discouraged I become that way too. I know I am supposed to be the person he can lean on, but I am just as stressed as he is if not more. I am worried what if he can’t find a job what will happen to us. I don’t mean our marriage or anything like that, I love my husband so much. I couldn’t imagine going through this with anyone else. I am just so scared about what will happen when our savings run out. The money I make working and the unemployment benefits are no where near what he was making. We don’t live beyond our means but we still have 2 car payments, rent and other small things that have to get paid every month. I know it will all get worked out in the end I just need to relax.

Sorry for the pity party, I just needed to vent a little. On a happy note my 2 year wedding anniversary is fast approaching.

Casey and I shortly after we found out I was with child and him starting his new job last year. He got laid off last year around this time too. Boy aren’t we lucky. We came out the last lay off better off. We will come out of this one smarter and better off this time too (hopefully we won’t have the same surprise with this one).


I have less then two days til I return to work. Part of me can’t wait to go back and then there is the part who is a little more reluctant. I have been in retail based jobs since I was 16. It’s not that I don’t like them, to be honest I will probably stay in some form of retail forever. I like the interaction with people, the not knowing what is going to happen day to day. I am happy where I am at for now. I am not at the bottom of the retail food chain anymore, but I want to eventually change what side of it I work on. Right now I am on the customer based side of retail with in the next two to three years I would like to change to working on the distributor side of it. I am excited about the fact that even though I am changing locations most of the vendors I work with will be the same.
Casey’s feels as if his interviews went well at both places only time will tell. He is going to hang out with his friends tonight at make beer. I don’t understand why they enjoy this so much and when I ask I was told ” It’s a Man Thang”. Guys, even as you get older and married to them they get no less confusing.
So what to do with my free Friday night, is now the question at hand. Maybe I will have myself a one woman dance party.
This was from when I first moved out on my own and was car hopping at sonic. I would dance constantly to pass the time and to annoy my manager, who then decide the best way to handle my dancing was to dance back.

Happy Dance

Casey had a phone interview yesterday that turned in to a real interview this morning at 10 am and he has another interview with a different company tomorrow at 10 am. I know to not get my hopes up but it is just so nice that he is finally getting at least called for interviews.

And the beat goes on…

It can only get better is my new motto. Casey didn’t get the job in OK. I am alright with this now that I have had time to process the idea. It is just terrifying to stare into the abyss of the unknown. Casey has what feels like a gazillion resumes out. I am not sure exactly everything that is going on with those, I know he has received a few phone calls but no interviews scheduled as of yet.
Me returning to work has been a a cluster …! I haven’t even got to start back yet, I called to get reinstated (I work in retail) and they told me they would call me when I was so that I could get back on the schedule. A week later no call so I go in to talk to my manager and he says they want to change my position, I am unhappy with this idea. So a few phone calls later I am staying in the same position but moving to a store closer to my home so win win for me. I hopefully will be starting this Fri. if not it will for sure be next week.
In a weird way I am grateful for the delay in returning to work. We have had a very full schedule all the appointments we have had dentist, eye and check ups. We are trying to take advantage of our insurance while it last. The most important appointments are still to come, I am applying for W.I.C, and our appointment is tomorrow. I am very nervous I have never applied for any kinda of aid before i have no idea what to expect.
On the baby front, Ian is doing amazing. We are getting three to four nights a week of six or more hours of sleep. Today while burping him I noticed that he already has a tooth trying to come in, isn’t that a little early. He amazes me more and more everyday, this last weekend Casey was playing the guitar for him and he just smiled and wiggled the whole time. On the smile front we were finally able to capture one on film, YAY!
I am ending on a positive note, I am grateful for all of our health and all the extra time my husband is getting to spend with his son.
He smiles!