Category Archives: Ryan Jane

What could have been

This is probably gonna be long and ramble. But I mean who reads this anymore? Me I do, I just went through my archives to read about my Ryan Jane. After a twitter friend recently suffered a loss, it made … Continue reading

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Losing Control

It all started about six weeks ago, with a constant desire to eat and as of last week morphed into an ugly ass beast. I had a non-existent fuse and the idea of getting out bed in the morning was … Continue reading

Posted in Bobbi Janay, dark and twisty, family, Ryan Jane | 2 Comments

Truth

For three weeks I have been telling those that ask I am healing and starting to feel human again, well all lies. I don’t feel any better the struggle to get out of bed every morning, even though I wake … Continue reading

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Name Game

I was given some advice from a childhood friend’s mama about healing from my our lost. She said that naming the baby and keeping something to remember are things she wishes she would have done. At first when facebook chatting … Continue reading

Posted in life, Ryan Jane | 1 Comment

The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow?

Since Saturday the skies have been dark and grey, what the hell mother nature? Aren’t you putting me through enough right now, I need sunshine to heal. I am proud of myself, I went to a large consignment sale in … Continue reading

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Thankful Through The Darkness

This morning I woke up to grey skies and an even darker mood. I am lucky to have a husband who is willing to get up with Ian in the morning. I laid in bed this morning till I made … Continue reading

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The Colors fade

I am the type of girl who heals when life, begins to return to normally. Today let the healing begin, Casey returned to work. Ian and I were left alone for the first time in almost a week. I thought … Continue reading

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Anger and lots of it

To my family and those easily offend I curse a lot in this post. It is full of raw emotions. So Aunt Doll I love you but stop reading if you don’t want to see my pain. This past 5 … Continue reading

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Things I never wanted to admit

I never wanted to say that I lost a baby, but that dread came true on Friday in one of the worst experiences of my life. If that wasn’t enough of a strain on us emotionally and physically the drain … Continue reading

Posted in Begging, dark and twisty, Ryan Jane | Leave a comment

I woke up today praying it had all been a dream, I knew with my heart it wasn’t. We lost the baby. What is so ironic about all this is I have been wanting weather that let me go outside … Continue reading

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