One Am Babbles

   Today was a rough day here, Ollie is still in the throws of the never ending cold. I couldn’t even do the dishes with out him screaming. At one point it got so bad that I took the neighbor up on her offer to take him, I needed to do the dishes with out being screamed at the whole time. Where was Ian you ask? He was being great playing cars and being helpful which means any day now we are do for a bad day the two of us. This parenting two kids stuff is hard, most days I don’t feel as if I am failing to show both boys the attention they need. How can I gain a balance? I feel like Ian is getting the shaft most days, I don’t want that for him. I want him to thrive and feel loved. I know that sleep deprivation is part of why I am feeling like this(yes I know I am writing this at one am). That is what happens when you haven’t been sleeping due to calming your cough sick baby.

     Part of me wonders are these thoughts because I have had no choice but to wean of my medication due to having no insurance. Which means no way to go to the doctor to get a new prescription and the cost of filling them each month. When did it become a choice to have health insurance for me or pay an important bill.  I don’t think I mentioned this before but for us to have insurance through C’s work it would be $800 for the boys and I. That is insane, luckily they qualify for state aid still (even if it is a broken system). What happens to us who are left with out the option of aid and is afraid because of their history private insurance would be just as much?
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The Neverending Cold

Around three weeks ago it all started with Ian, and then just ran it’s course though the whole house. I dumbly thought it was just going to miss Ollie.  Boy was I wrong, he was the last to catch it and poor guy has had it the longest, he can’t seem to kick it. Though I am 90% certain every symptom is being multiplied by him teething.  My happy baby has been replaced with a whiny one, I want my happy baby back. Hopefully we will all be on the upswing soon.

At least someone is happy today.

Even sick he is a cutie.

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Ollie the Oddball

Otherwise known as my teething infant is getting teeth his own way. Today has been a ball of unhappy Ollie, I knew all signs led to teething. So I got brave, I have been bitten once to many times by the toddler for my liking. Stuck my finger in to investigate and what does my wandering finger feel, the start of a tooth popping through. Except it isn’t where it is supposed to be, the first tooth through is normally one of the bottom front four. Now oddball Ollie decided getting his right upper canine is the way to go. Mama’s back me up, I have blocked teething for the most part the canines are almost if not worse then the molars. So it has begun the dreaded teething monster has taken my sweet happy baby. On the good side, I now know what to put in Ollie’s stocking. The Sweet Face that has been replaced by an angry one. I melt.
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My Rainbow baby, that I prayed for you are here now and I am so thankful for you.

I am thankful for you the boy who made me a mother. That challenges me everyday. You are showing me how much fun being a kid is.

You the man who stole my heart. I am thankful for you everyday.

I have been blessed. I need to remind myself this every day.

The past 36 hours

#babywearing one whiny Ollie.Holy hell, where did my sweet Ollie go? He has been replaced by a non-napping, screaming, cranky bub. Yes he has always had a need for me, but last night Casey couldn’t even hold him with out him melting down. I wonder if part of the reason yesterday evening was so rough is he didn’t nap all afternoon. Well that theory got shot in the foot when he woke up in the same mood. This was after him sleeping beside me all night, even if I waited till he was fully asleep and tried to place him in his bed. It failed miserably. This mama was ready to pull her hair out, so I broke out the moby and decided we were going on a family walk. I went out to set up the jogging stroller to push Ian, and what do I find? It has 2 flats, I about cried. We pulled out our umbrella stroller and decided to go anyways, wow is all I can say. It isn’t meant for neighborhood style walking. We came back in and start the smurf dvd at Ian’s request for the second time. While I prepared lunch, to the music of a crying baby. We got lunch served for all of us, clean diapers, and then they went to their beds. So far everyone has quieted down, strike that Ian is singing. lets hope for a better evening. I wonder if is ear hurts and he can't tell me?
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Ollie’s Arrival

I am going to preface this by saying that I didn’t always agree with or sometimes even like my OB, Ollie is here safe and healthy. This post will more then likely be long, picture heavy, a bit rambly and emotional for me. I make no promises that it will make any sense. birth6I went on sunday night to start it all, Casey took me while Ian hung out with his Papaw. We got to the hospital and were put into what I thought was going to be my room, while the nurses were looking over my birth wishes. They came in and said that they were going to move me to the corner room to be sure that there was going to be enough room for everyone I wanted present, this is were I have to say all but one nurse at my hospital were amazing. They moved me instead of telling me that my family couldn’t be with me, I was put in a corner room that was huge. I told them they didn’t have to and they said no they didn’t but they wanted me to have a great birth. So after I got settled in, got everything signed, sealed, and almost delivered. Casey went home, I love him but a hospital room isn’t a comfy place to sleep. So I was left alone with my thoughts, were I wondered how the next day was going to go. One sleeping pill later and I was relaxed enough to be able to get some rest before the big show. Edit1The nurses came in at 6:30 and asked me if I wanted to shower before we started the pit. I jumped on the chance, knowing full well that it would be relaxing. Until I got in and even on the hottest setting the water was cold. Why is the water on the Labor and Delivery floor always so cold?Edit2Around 8 the nurse came in and started my PIT, I knew from my labor with Ian that this wasn’t going to be fun. This time though I wanted to go longer or maybe the whole time with our pain medication. Not 10 minutes later my OB came in and wanted to break my water. I told him no, that I was only 2cm and had just started the PIT it wasn’t necessary. I was hoping they would break on it’s own. After he left, I asked if I could get on my birthball. As soon as I sat down on it, I realized how much more comfortable it was then that damn bed. At this point my 2 of my Aunt’s, Mama, Daddy, and Casey all arrived. My Wishes was to be surrounded by family at all times. At 9:30 my OB came in and again asked to break my waters and to check me, I knew that to get him off my back I need to give to get. So I let him check me and I was at a 3, at this point with Ian my water had already broken. So I let him break my water, holy hell it was a horrible experience. The pain of it and how violated I felt. I got back on the birthball, which helped the pressure on my hips. At this point my Cousin Kimberly called at said she didn’t know if she was gonna make it. I broke down at that point all I wanted was my Laura Jean, I can imagine my husband was feeling really loved at the moment. My Aunt Doll (her mom) was on the phone with her as I was crying and she was saying she was gonna try to make it. The next phone call was my Cousin Brandi telling me I hadn’t invited her mom, but she was on her way. For the record I had invite my Aunt Cindy, she had told me no. She was also telling me she was waiting on my Cousin Candi and they would be on their way. While waiting for them get there, my Aunt Bonnie proceeded to get my mind off having a baby by asking me about my make up, hair, and whatever popped into her mind. All this time I was pretty much being left alone by amazing nurse. Heck she wasn’t even coming to adjust the PIT very often at all. After about 4 hours on the ball, I was beginning to hurt and they were having trouble keeping on the Ollie on the monitor. GEDC0094 I decided to switch between standing/leaning on the bed and the rocking chair. At this point my amazing nurse had to go into surgery and she was replaced with the bitch of a nurse. Her first interaction with me was to come in and try to adjust my PIT level with even saying a word to me. I stopped her asked her what she was doing, she told me. When I asked her if she had read my birth wishes she said yes, I said did the part about not doing anything with out telling me slip your mind. She said no but what she was doing was procedure, I said not to me. She stomped out, she was very pissed. At that point my cousins arrived, all of them including Kimberly with our other Cousin Tasha. I was so happy, that they were all there. edit 3I was beginning to feel exhausted from the pain, it was going on one pm. So when the bitch nurse came in to adjust my pit, I asked what had to happen to some iv pain meds? I knew the answer before I asked, I knew it was gonna be get checked and get in bed and stay in bed. I knew that I need to take the edge off, I know my limits and I was reaching them. So I got checked and was only at 4, as I got medicated I felt some relief. I became loopy and was making my family crack up. At that point I asked where Dr. FeelGood was, they told me he was going into surgery and he would be at least an hour. So my family went to grab something to eat, all except my Aunt Doll and Kimberly Laura they stayed with me. birth5My nurse came in and asked me if I still wanted an epi, if so Dr Feelgood is available but I needed to be checked. At this point it was around 1:30 and when checked I was still a 4. I said yes to the drugs, hope that I could at least get some rest. He came in and placed it and something wasn’t right, I could still feel everything on my left side. He came adjust the med level and I felt relief for about 90 minutes where I got a nap in and it was amazing. edit5I woke up from that nap, to feeling everything my epi wasn’t working and I wanted it fixed. Well they came in and checked me told me I was only at a 6. At that point Dr not so feel good, came in and said everything was in place and should be working. At this point, I just wanted to be through so I agreed to hospital procedure for pit. Which is uping it every 15 mins, it was horrid. I was crying out in pain, I felt like my right hip was going to break. Ollie’s head was hitting it so hard. edit8Turns out all the pain I was feeling must have been transition, I went from a 6 to ready to push in about an hour and 15 minutes. I was very vocal during this time, so vocal that my pain made my normal calm and level headed Aunt cry. During all this the nurse was trying to tell me that I wasn’t contracting enough to be in that much pain, well at that point the amazing nurse from the morning comes in and realizes that the thing placed on my belly wasn’t working. So they placed an internal probe for contractions only, nothing was placed on Ollie. editagainI knew when it was time to start pushing, they came in and Ollie wasn’t taking it so well. It also turned out that he had pooped since they had broke my water. I knew from listening to my Aunts that Ollie really wasn’t doing well, so I pushed until I couldn’t anymore. I pushed for around 15-20 minutes and Ollie was born at 5:27pm. birth7After he was born my family who had all been present, as I had wanted attention shifted to Ollie. All except my Aunt Doll who stayed with me as I hemorrhaged and the nurse kept working on me. They finally got in under control and I was able to hold Ollie. .birth8While I was waiting to hold Ollie, after they finally got the bleeding slowed. My Cousin Kimberly made sure that she wiped my tears. birth3My family all loved on our newest member and chatted, while we waited for big brother Ian to arrive with his Aunt Abby. I was so exhausted, over come with joy and so hungry. GEDC0137After everyone had left and I had gotten a chance to get up. Casey went and got me some panda express and that was the best meal ever. There was something going on the postpartum floor so it was taking along time for us to transfer. I was okay with this since I got to spent lots of time with my new baby. birth2I am posting this with out going back through and rereading as I am crying again. So please forgive any mistakes.
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4 weeks in

Yesterday was the start of Ollie’s fourth week of life. We are all still adjusting, there have been some growing pains for all of us. Ian over all has taken to being a big brother quite well. He loves to love on Ollie and give him kisses. Casey and I are adjusting to being parents of two. It has been easy since he is home with me all the time after being let go from his job when Ollie was one week old. He is looking again for the second time this year for a job and his field is hurting so bad. So please pray for us, we need them. Back on track now, we have got a nice groove going on. I do need to work on making sure i give Ian enough Mama love and Casey gets time with Ollie. We seem to have a groove were Dad handles Ian and I handle Ollie. Well I am exhausted and drawing a blank now.

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Birth Announcement

Birth Story to follow, waiting on some pictures and a chance to sit down. With two boys those are few and far between.

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