I am settled into my post bedtime what do I do now. Laundry in every step of the process, clean dishes that need to be unloaded, beds that need to be made (who cares it is almost bed time). As I listen to the wrr of the washing machine. I wish he was to cuddle with and tell about my day. Instead I write it in a letter and wait for a response about ten days for a response. I wait anxiously for the phone to ring knowing full well that it won’t. It won’t ring for at least another week, if at all before he graduates. The uncertainty of where we will be PCSing to, all this unknown is making me have more panic attacks then I can remember. I need to know how to handle all the stress and anxiety with grace.
I will overcome all this, I have no choice but to be the best wife and mother I can be. Cause he is being the best he can be. I am capable of all this. I just need to believe in myself.
I feel like I have take about 5 steps back in my getting on the right track this week. We are all recovering from a cold just strong enough to bring us down. So I know that I slept too much over the weekend and it has thrown be all over the place emotions wise. I know havig to deal with my mother in a pretty stressful siuation on Monday and Tuesday didn’t help at all. I don’t remember her once saying thank you after me driving to Ft. Worth for twice in two days. One of those days getting myself and my boys up before 6 am. Making me put my boys in the car for long amounts of time. Poor Ollie yesterday was a train wreck, he wanted to be held tight all day after spending too much time in the car. I don’t what has come over Ian today, we weren’t up 5 minutes and he was in time out for trying to hit me. The day has could be described as actions that lead to time out and time out. Poor kid, I know he is craving affection which I am trying to give but pulling my hair while hugging me or running up and hitting the dog for no reason are not allowed. Lastly oh the house, it was so easy to keep clean then I got sick first and lets just say trying to pick up isn’t as easy right now. Can someone also explain to my husband that the shoe basket isn’t or dirty socks!
Ian woke up acting as if he was still tired and after a few hours of meltdowns, no listening, and tears. Someone on twitter recommend taking a walk. So off we went. It was meant to be a short jaunt to the park not a 1/4 mile from our house. After we started I couldn’t think of stop that soon. We went to the park about a mile from our house.
We didn’t plan to go that far, I was wearing flip flops and all we have is a sit and stand stroller but it was nice and we all came back in a better mood.
Ian showed me that I am not such a bad mom after all the other day, I already knew that he was like a sponge absorbing everything we say and do. Watching my 3 year old duplicate my actions, really made me stop and think about the little mundane things I don’t normally think about how I react to while doing them.
What I didn’t know is that Ian was listening and decided to take action. While I was dealing with an Ollie emergency, Ian got the cleaner and paper towels and went to town. I turned to find him working away, my first thought was “wow this is why parents have kids”. My next thought was a much more sobering one, “what else is he talking away from my actions and words through out the day?”
What am I teaching him when I lose my cool, whine, etc? I want to be a better role model for my boys. I am extremely glad that he stepped up to help me clean with out asking, I am guessing this is a trait he must have picked up from his Daddy. Who is an amazing husband and father, most of the time ;). What do you actions are you glad to be instilling in your children? What actions are you hoping they don’t pick up?
and yes he got all up in the tables grill while cleaning it, he did an amazing job. I think the best surprise was he put away the cleaner and threw away his paper towels when he was through. Who is the kid, and what pod people replaced him?
Last week I was at my wits end with Ian, I desperately needed to reconnect with him. I can imagine he needed it to by his actions. Well Saturday mornign rolled around and my mom called. She wanted to take Ian and I to the lego discovery center, well that idea didn’t pan out when we realized that it is best to buy tickets in advance. So instead we went to the first circle of Hell (aka Chuck E Cheese).
Where he played everything from whack a mole to skee ball and everything in between. After a bout an hour he realized there was food to be had. Luckily he was okay with going to eat somewhere else, I think all the noise and excitement was getting to be a bit much at that point. After a brief pit stop and with fuller bellies. My Mama had the bright idea to stop at Bass Pro Shop and wonder about. Believe it or not I am pretty sure it was a bigger hit the Chuck E Cheese.
I don’t have a picture of him fishing but they had a fishing display set up for small children, and he figured that out super fast. His reaction to all the boats was pretty priceless, he said “Big Boats, Yay.”
He wasn’t so sure about this fake shark.
I think the best part was when he say all the boats and turned to my Mama saying “I buy a boat, okay Mimi.” Thanks to my Mama, he now keeps telling me about the big snake. They have a rattlesnake display in the store, and boy do I hate snakes. So between hearing about fishes, snakes, and big boats; I don’t think this is a day he will soon to forget.
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Things that make Sundays perfect, bicycle rides with Ian. The bicycle rides then turned into coloring on the sidewalk with chalk and a game of soccer.
This day didn’t start off, don’t you all wake up late because your kids actually slept in. Which means missing church, dang it means I need to start setting an alarm. So my mom and I went and ran a few errands, you know buying stuff to bribe Ian to use the potty. I am proud to say we bought him some books at half price, if he goes all day he gets a book. Lets hope this works, or I might need to buy stock in up and up. And picking up the all important dish detergent, am I missing something we got the last box on the shelf at Target. Also they didn’t have much liquid detergent either. Hmm the wonders of the world.
Arriving home, I thought forget folding laundry and all the other things that need to be done. I am going to go outside and enjoy the weather and my boys while they are little. Out came the pack and play so Ollie could watch. Anyone have any advice on how to include Ollie more in outside play? We romped and played for 2 plus hours.
When I had to return to reality and wash Casey some work clothes, feed my children dinner, and clean my main floor’s floors so I can lay down my new rug. All and All it was a great weekend, how was yours?
When I make time for myself, I always feel a million times better. Why is it so hard to find the 30 mins to do my hair and make up? If I shower before bed, blow dry my hair. I seem to wake up in a better mood, the mood seems to last if I make the time to do my hair, make up, but on a real bra( I sleep in hammock bra). I can’t seem to give up my yoga pants while I am in my house. They are so comfy. I need to remember that I am still a woman, not just Ian an Ollie’s mom along with Casey’s wife. I wonder if it makes a difference to Casey if I take care I my appearance he doesn’t seem to notice and that bothers me. I want him to notice, I want to feel pretty to him.