On Comments

I am going to tell you that a fellow blogger took the words I wanted to write about comments and wrote them so well that I am posting her words again, with permission from Beth at:

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You should go and check her out this post isn’t even the tip of the iceberg, of her writing talent.

I have had many discussions this week with various bloggers about the importance of commenting and how much they mean to a blogger.  We all understand that sometimes readers do not comment because maybe they are in a hurry, maybe they are not in the mood or maybe they just don’t think that what they have to say really matters.
As a blogger, let me enlighten you on the subject of commenting.  I hope that I can encourage you to begin commenting on blogs (not just mine) that you read and also express my gratitude to those readers and fellow bloggers who always or most of the time, make it a point to leave a comment.
I will not speak for ALL bloggers, but I will speak for most, commenting is our payday.  Very few of us receive a handsome salary (I’ve always wanted to say handsome salary) or ANY salary for blogging.  Which is fine, many of us blog for the love of blogging, not for money.  Some people actually lose money because they pay to keep their blog and pay for their design but do not receive any financial kickbacks.  It’s a hobby, something we enjoy.  Sometimes it’s hard work, sometimes it’s painful, there are so many reasons to keep a blog, but there is one thing all bloggers have in common, it takes our time, it comes from our hearts, (I hope) and most of the time, bloggers are proud of what they have written.
How do we get paid?  Through your comments.  A comment is more than just a comment, it’s feedback, it’s conversation, it’s appreciation.  You not only hold our “paycheck” in your hands, you also hold our longevity.  A blogger who is appreciated is more likely to be a happy blogger and a happy blogger blogs for a long time and doesn’t stop because they are under appreciated or frustrated.
The best way I can explain the importance to you, is with this question:  Can you imagine wanting to share a story, a thought or a belief with forty people and preparing what you had to say, choosing the right words and nervously approaching them and then saying what you had to say, you say it just as you planned and you wait for the response and the person you are talking to listens to you, looks at you and just walks away.  Without a smile, a frown – no reaction.  They just walk away.  And out of the forty people you say this to, only one replies to you. 
That’s how it feels for a blogger.  But that’s the way blogging is and we know this.  Do I always leave a comment on blogs that I visit?  No.  But I should do it more often, and I will.
You may think that what you have to say doesn’t matter or your words are insignificant.  You may find it hard to believe, but your words are important, they make a difference.  Every comment that comes through my blog, is read and appreciated and I know I am not the only blogger who feels this way.  I KNOW THIS.
After reading all of this, I hope you don’t feel like you can’t go to blogs without commenting – because you can.  Readership is also very important, I justed wanted to portray for you how wonderful it is to share our thoughts and life experiences with you AND receive some form of feedback.  If you are still feel uncomfortable, that’s okay.  I promise.
So, for all bloggers today, I hope you click on that comment button and say “great post” or “well said” on every blog that you visit. 
And I hope you feel good about leaving a comment, because that blogger feels so good that you took the time to leave one.

Drawing Strength From Being An Innie

Lets welcome our next fabulous guest poster, Sis from Reclaim Simplicity.

Navel Point

Like my belly button, I am a cave. I protect those who dwell within my
walls. I am isolated from the rest of the world for the most part unless I
choose to get some sun. Once in a while lint and dust collects on my
doorstep, but I just sweep it away. I hear more than a few rumors about
how outies are liberated, free to pursue their dreams and passions. If you
ask me, it’s here in my place, where life happens. I don’t draw a paycheck, but I am
rich. I’m an innie.

If you’re are an outie, that’s okay, most of my friends are outies. This
isn’t about conversion. I’m not an expert on you, just me. This is about
my journey to become an innie and the strength that I draw from being one.
Maybe you will read this and find something you can identify with or
appreciate. Or not.

My Mom was an innie. Although college educated and could make more money
than my Dad, she chose to stay home. So you could say I didn’t know any
different growing up until I became a nanny (outside of Washington, D.C.)
and became primary caregiver to three kids. I did my best, but fell miles
and miles short to the care that ‘could have been’ from their mom. When I
became engaged to Ben and we were talking about having kids this was my
response, “If we have one, we will have two. After that it’s negotiable.
AND! I’m staying home with them, no matter what you make.” Ben
agreed even though his mom was an outie. I was surprised, as she was a
high income earner, and fantastic mom. So far it’s something we have never
regretted.

I’ve been at home now for basically 14 years with stints into part time
jobs or full time temporary ones. Nine of the years have been with kids
and otherwise a homemaker…this is what I’ve found.

I can stretch a dollar further than most because I have TIME to look for
great deals on insurance, mortgages, vacation needs, clothing, or whatever.

I save gobs of money on food because I have TIME to cook healthy meals from scratch.

I save gobs of money on heating and cooling because I’m here to feed the
fire, regulate the fans, and have TIME hang laundry out on the line.

My relationships are fuller because I have the TIME to pursue them. Having TIME to connect with your husband physically opens the door to
what’s inside his heart. Isn’t that what every girl wants?

Our boys see how we are ONE. A team of silliness where
they are key players, while developing our values by virtue of spending
TIME around us.

Since my housework is never done, I take TIME for me. I try to work out five times a week with a friend. This is a
physical and emotional need I have. Some weeks exercise isn’t enough. So I
tell Ben I need a day off to pursue my own interests. He gladly gives, cause
even in my house. If mama ain’t happy…

It all boils down to TIME. When it’s gone you can’t get it back.

If all that isn’t enough. I really feel it was my calling. God made me (and most women) to nurture and love. He
made Ben to ‘leave the cave, kill it and drag it home’. Two totally
different jobs for two totally different folks. When brought together in
marriage and the two becomes one, it’s like the mystery of the ages as
been solved. Everything is complete. Yin and Yang. Peas and Carrots.
You’ve got the whole enchilada. Around here we say…”He makes the living.
I make it worth while.” We are truly rich. Not a bad return for one very
average paycheck.

Are you an innie, a stay at home mom (SAHM), domestic engineer, homemaker,
housewife, your kid’s mother, your husband’s wife? Do you want to be?

Simply,

Sandhill Sis

P.S. ~ A ‘BIG ‘ole Texas THANK YOU’ to Bobbi Janay (a fabulous innie) for
allowing me to guest post on her nifty blog. It was an honor. Ya’ll come
and visit me at http://reclaimsimplicity.com for
more tips and tales about living simply.

A Friends Mantra

I am going off line for a whole seven days. Starting Sunday August 23, I will have guest post and a few written in advance posts from me. This first guest post is written from one of my In Real Life friends, that would like to vent about how some people only think of themselves and not how there actions effect those around them.

People are stupid

I haven’t told many people this, but I have a mantra: “people are stupid”.

The people I have told about this mantra have reacted in ways that I think indicate that I haven’t done a good job of explaining what I mean by this phrase.

I do not mean:

  • That I am smarter than anyone/everyone
  • That many people are not intelligent
  • That I hate people
When I am obligated to remind myself that people are stupid, I am reminding myself that people who are otherwise capable of doing things as complex as driving a car, paying their bills, and cooking food will nevertheless still make decisions to act stupidly, irresponsibly, immaturely, and cruelly or passive aggressively, even when they are old enough to know better and are perfectly capable of making a more intelligent choice. They just look at a situation, and they decide to be stupid. And to avoid responsibility for their actions by claiming ignorance or insisting that something they’ve done makes sense when it clearly doesn’t. This is a ridiculous way for adults to act, because everyone around them can see what they are doing and recognize its absurdity, but it is how things are.

I don’t mean that only people I don’t know or people I don’t like are stupid. No, unfortunately, many times when I have to remind myself that people are stupid, I am doing this to remind myself that people I love or am related to are equally capable of making a conscious decision to be stupid. They have made some decision to do something ridiculous that hurts me or upsets me because it was easier for them at the time. I just have to remember, people are stupid, and forgive them.

Another reaction I have received is that this is a very negative mantra. I beg to differ. Many times when someone does something completely ignorant and even dangerous, but there is nothing that I can do about it, I am able to “let go” of the anger, frustration, and helplessness by reminding myself “this is because people are stupid”. Nothing more and nothing less. It is not personally directed against me, it is just people being stupid.

For example, when someone doesn’t like how slow I am driving and makes a big show of passing me on a residential street (this happens to me periodically, the residential streets near my house are wide but the speed limit is 35 and I abide by it – no one else does), honking and flipping me off, I just sigh to myself and think “people are stupid”. This reminds me that the person is fully capable of recognizing that what they did was wrong, reckless, and dangerous, but they did it anyway because they are a jerk. That person is acting stupid, but all people act like that.
It is normal, even though it is stupid.
People are stupid.
Repeat after me, and let go of the anger…