Time is moving forward but I feel stuck

I feel as if time is stuck. I know in my mind that nearly three weeks have past, can someone tell my heart. Ollie has stopped going to the door asking to go get Daddy. I talk to him and Ian about where Daddy is and that he loves us very much. Ian asks what he is doing, he loves the letters that Casey sends him. Talking of letters, I always knew Casey loves me but the way he writes makes me swoon. A friend read the most recent letter and she said, “He loves you more then even you know.”

Now back here basketball for Ian is a challenge, I sometimes wonder if he understands the game. He doesn’t seem to enjoy it as well as soccer. On the school front he is doing so well.

Ollie is just chatting up a storm and he is just becoming his own little person more and more everyday.

I on the other hand feel lost. I don’t know what to do somedays. I never knew how hard this would be. I feel like I am missing part of me.


And with a blink of an eye

With a phone call that was so brief that I barely got I love you out before he could hang up. I know he is safe, arrived at his base, and he will call when he can. He is a solider in training and our days as a military family have begun.

I am going to try and write everyday. I will make it part of my evening routine. I can’t remember the last time I wrote letters. Maybe high school passing notes? Does that even count? Tonight it was hard, I didn’t want to let him know his call upset me. So I rambled on about our day talk about the most mundane details. When in reality I just wanted to talk about how sad I was.

I need to remember that this is just as hard for him as it is for us. It probably is harder.

We will come through this.

Simple Life.

I miss the days when all we had to worry about was you and me. Where we more worried about plans for the weekend then how are we going to pay the rent. Our friends all lived on the same street for the most part. Now we are scattered across the world. As the days tick closer to you leaving, I wish for simpler times. I see you stress and it makes my heart hurt, I can’t remember the last time I saw you smile with ease. I miss that smile, the sounds of your laugh, the ease at which you used to go through life. We are both so nervous now that I can’t remember the last time we had a moment to work on us. We will make it thorough all these challenges and changes together as family.

So as we yearn for the days long past, we move forward boldly into the unknown. Baby as long as you are there for me, I will be there for you. We will conquer all the challenges and look back one day and laugh at these times and smile that we survived them.


Ch Ch Ch Changes

We are into the double digits I days left til C leaves for BCT. It is scary, I feel like time is speeding up. I can’t believe that the holidays this year mean that we will be closing in on the finish line.

I am scared, anxious, all those things when I think about it. Then I think about all the things we need to get done between now and then. Not only to make the transition easier but to make sure we have dotted all the i’s and crossed all the t’s.

Then there is the boys, how does mommy explain this. Then there is myself, how do I handle this huge new learning curve?

I do know that I love C and everything he is doing for our family.


So I need to remember to be more present with him during our time together now. To try not to take my stress out on him and to love him as much as I can.

Thinking back.

After Reading Household Six Diva about her move and things that make her feel like home. She mentioned her wedding topper and it got me thinking. What is the story behind

It made me think of mine and the story behind it. Ours was a replacement after my original idea was back ordered. It was purchased 24 hours before our wedding. In the end though I love it, even if I have given it away.

What made you choose what you had or didn’t have and why?


Date Night Has Changed

From impromptu sushi with friends, nights on Northgate, randomly ending up at the tattoo parlor(truly it did happen), to oh my we are lucky enough to have a sitter (my mom so graciously volunteered). What do we do now? The thought of having alone time together stumps us, since we usually have to leave the house there goes the idea of a nice night in. Well this past Friday we were lucky enough to have a night together thanks to my my mom. So we started the night with a little dinner.

chinese food Pictures, Images and Photos

That part was easy to figure out, it was what to do with our selves after dinner that got us. We did have the time nor the money to see a movie(when did it start costing so much to see a movie). We then threw out the idea of grocery shopping sans kids but we weren’t really sure of what we did and didn’t need. I don’t know how my love of the dollar store came up in the conversation but it did and we were off to the dollar store.

one Pictures, Images and Photos

When we pulled up in the parking lot and saw one of the discount hair cutting places, we both talked of our need for hair cuts. Seeing my chance, I walked in and bravely sat down(the last time I got a hair cut at a place like this, I lost a lot of hair and was given a hair cut I couldn’t handle). Not this time, I was blessed with the luck and got an amazingly trained stylist. Who had the knowledge to train the beast. Casey on the other hand, did not get his cut. He did go back on Sunday with a coupon and got his and Ian’s done.

scissors Pictures, Images and Photos

So what a change from pre-kids/college days, what do you do to keep your Date Nights fun?


Image credit 1, 2, and 3.

Linking up with:

TV Lies

Add to the list of things that can only happen to us for $1000 Alex, is managing to lock ourselves out of our bedroom at 10:00pm. Yes we have a keyed lock on our bedroom door it has been there for about 10 days. We had yet to separate the little keys that came with it, even Casey had mentioned doing so earlier yesterday.  After a nap yesterday, I went out and locked the door with out even thinking to look for the keys.  Which brings us to bedtime, to cranky people one of which was on medications and a lot of shared words.

So I will take you back 10 days or so, I had just got home from the hospital and Ian went into my bag. Covering himself from head to toe in a brand new tube of tooth paste and me declaring that a lock will be installed asap.  So come the weekend we trekked  down to our local home improvement store and for around $9 bought ourselves a little keyed door knob. After the install things had been going well until last night.

Where I managed to lock us out, and make a normally very calm Casey quiet upset with me. Words might have been exchanged, there might have been some foot stomping, and someone might have said they want to run away(me). I went to the dispenser of knowledge (twitter) and shouted out for some help while Casey actually tried to fix the situation.  About 45 minutes into it a loving tweep and a good friend started actually giving very similar advice. After the card trick failed and Casey was ready to break down the door. He realized he had been turning the lock the wrong when when trying to pick it.  Just a few minutes later Huzzah we were in, the keys were separated, Casey was claimed the hero and with that we feel into bed and passed out. Hoping that will never happen again.

The best learned advice is, people and tv lie were not able to pick a lock with a credit card.


Image Credit