Nose to the grind Stone and Pity Party

March 22:
Today I hit the ground running at work. I started at a new store today so it is gonna take a while to get things cleaned up and organized, the vendors have been left alone for far to long. I spent hours pulling ratholed bottles and I not even half way finished. I left them a nice note saying we aren’t gonna have that anymore. I am gonna try being nice before I go into bitch mode.

March 26:
I have now been working for 3 days. I was supposed to have today off but my store is in such bad shape that I came in today to work on it some more. I am happy with the store in general it seems to have a more laid back vibe then my old one. I do miss some of my coworkers from my old store. The best thing happened when I came home from work on Sunday, Casey was burping Ian and when he noticed I was in the room he sat up straight and went oooooo. That melted my heart.

My 24 birthday is coming up in 12 days. I am excited and a little sad, I have always had something to look forward to even when it is nothing more than having people come over for dinner. This year is different I have no plans other then to work, I get off at 7 its not like I couldn’t do something. It is just tough to try and plan something. We are the first in my husbands group of college friends (I like all of these people they were just his friends first) to have a baby. So I now sometimes feel as if when they invite us to stuff is more out of obligation then them wanting to see us. I know that is probably not true but sometimes it’s how I feel. So for me to plan something with them would mean a course of no were all busy thanks maybe next time. Mostly all I really want is like three hours with my husband at home alone to watch a movie and hang out, but that isn’t possible because my mom Can only baby sit here and our previously mention friends more then likely wouldn’t want to watch Ian. The only couple that has ever offered 30 minutes away and to take him there and back just to gives a few hours alone makes me feel like I am burdening them.

Casey’s becoming more and more discouraged and it is taking its toll on me. I understand why he is, but I am the type of person that when the people I love become stressed and discouraged I become that way too. I know I am supposed to be the person he can lean on, but I am just as stressed as he is if not more. I am worried what if he can’t find a job what will happen to us. I don’t mean our marriage or anything like that, I love my husband so much. I couldn’t imagine going through this with anyone else. I am just so scared about what will happen when our savings run out. The money I make working and the unemployment benefits are no where near what he was making. We don’t live beyond our means but we still have 2 car payments, rent and other small things that have to get paid every month. I know it will all get worked out in the end I just need to relax.

Sorry for the pity party, I just needed to vent a little. On a happy note my 2 year wedding anniversary is fast approaching.

Casey and I shortly after we found out I was with child and him starting his new job last year. He got laid off last year around this time too. Boy aren’t we lucky. We came out the last lay off better off. We will come out of this one smarter and better off this time too (hopefully we won’t have the same surprise with this one).

New Glasses

I have been wear glasses or contacts since I was 16. Well 3 years ago I decide to just wear glasses, I bought a pair I thought would last for a long time. Well about a year ago I sat them on the desk at home my husband didn’t notice them and knocked them off and ran them over with the chair. Needless to say they weren’t in great shape anymore, but I kept wearing them anyways. When Casey got laid off we decide before we lost our vision insurance to use it. Turns out they pay for your frames up to $120, lenses, and exam. On any additional glasses it is 20% off. Since we now have Ian, I convinced Casey that I needed sunglasses too. I am so excited to finally have sunglasses, I have wanted them for about 2 years. For your view pleasure my new glasses.


Countdown

I have less then two days til I return to work. Part of me can’t wait to go back and then there is the part who is a little more reluctant. I have been in retail based jobs since I was 16. It’s not that I don’t like them, to be honest I will probably stay in some form of retail forever. I like the interaction with people, the not knowing what is going to happen day to day. I am happy where I am at for now. I am not at the bottom of the retail food chain anymore, but I want to eventually change what side of it I work on. Right now I am on the customer based side of retail with in the next two to three years I would like to change to working on the distributor side of it. I am excited about the fact that even though I am changing locations most of the vendors I work with will be the same.
Casey’s feels as if his interviews went well at both places only time will tell. He is going to hang out with his friends tonight at make beer. I don’t understand why they enjoy this so much and when I ask I was told ” It’s a Man Thang”. Guys, even as you get older and married to them they get no less confusing.
So what to do with my free Friday night, is now the question at hand. Maybe I will have myself a one woman dance party.
This was from when I first moved out on my own and was car hopping at sonic. I would dance constantly to pass the time and to annoy my manager, who then decide the best way to handle my dancing was to dance back.

Happy Dance

Casey had a phone interview yesterday that turned in to a real interview this morning at 10 am and he has another interview with a different company tomorrow at 10 am. I know to not get my hopes up but it is just so nice that he is finally getting at least called for interviews.

Recent Events

Plus a FootFoot, you pull out a camera and my dog thinks she needs her picture taken. My FIL and BIL came to visit two weekends ago. It was nice to see them and for them to see the baby. My always entertaining FIL has a soft spot for children in general but this is the first grandbaby for him in 8 years. So in otherwords in no time flat he can have Ian smiling, I wish he would smile all the time for us. Yesterday Ian and I stopped by were my dad works and he got to show him off . ian is a very social baby he never has any objections to new people holding him.

About 3 weeks ago, we attended our friends ring dunking. He finished in 35 secs go CD. We are starting the a&m brainwashing early. It was so nice to go out and see friends and enjoy some very good wine (one of our friends dads makes his own wine).I am hoping that one of our friends decides to have game night are something soon I need a night out of my house, it would be even better sans baby but our babysitter (my mom) just has knee surgery so it will be a few weeks.

And the beat goes on…

It can only get better is my new motto. Casey didn’t get the job in OK. I am alright with this now that I have had time to process the idea. It is just terrifying to stare into the abyss of the unknown. Casey has what feels like a gazillion resumes out. I am not sure exactly everything that is going on with those, I know he has received a few phone calls but no interviews scheduled as of yet.
Me returning to work has been a a cluster …! I haven’t even got to start back yet, I called to get reinstated (I work in retail) and they told me they would call me when I was so that I could get back on the schedule. A week later no call so I go in to talk to my manager and he says they want to change my position, I am unhappy with this idea. So a few phone calls later I am staying in the same position but moving to a store closer to my home so win win for me. I hopefully will be starting this Fri. if not it will for sure be next week.
In a weird way I am grateful for the delay in returning to work. We have had a very full schedule all the appointments we have had dentist, eye and check ups. We are trying to take advantage of our insurance while it last. The most important appointments are still to come, I am applying for W.I.C, and our appointment is tomorrow. I am very nervous I have never applied for any kinda of aid before i have no idea what to expect.
On the baby front, Ian is doing amazing. We are getting three to four nights a week of six or more hours of sleep. Today while burping him I noticed that he already has a tooth trying to come in, isn’t that a little early. He amazes me more and more everyday, this last weekend Casey was playing the guitar for him and he just smiled and wiggled the whole time. On the smile front we were finally able to capture one on film, YAY!
I am ending on a positive note, I am grateful for all of our health and all the extra time my husband is getting to spend with his son.
He smiles!

Waiting for the Phone to ring

Is killing me. Casey had his interview on Fri. and they said they would call him on Mon. or Tues. still no call. The pessimist in me thinks he did not get the job, and they just don’t want to call and tell him this. Casey on the other hand is all like they will call they said to check out housing in the town this interview was in. So he is all like they are gonna, I think he is being stupid and refusing to face reality.
Well then last night my cousin calls and says that she is going to try and work it out with her husband. I know that this is going to sound bad I broke down in tears, all I could think of is her 2 little girls and how bad of an example she is setting for them. In the six years they have been married I think that he has cheated on her more times then I know of and everytime she gets pregant he does it. She is currently 5 months pregant with his 5 child (he has 2 from a previous marriage). Then when they are together he treats her like crap. Her response to this is he is the father of my children. Well I am sorry being with someone cause they are the father of your child is not good enough . The icing on the cake is the girl he has been sleeping with just found out she is pregant and she told my cousin she is gonna get an abortion, I don’t believe her. My cousin does, I just wish that she could realize that she isn’t hurting just herself when she jumps back in this stupid circle.