It’s me, not you…

Facebook, I am breaking up with you after 14 years. I didn’t go as far a delete my profile but I did deactivate and only briefly reactivated when I couldn’t remember a password for a site. So there is one for only deactivating. It has been 12 days, funny thing is, I don’t miss it. I don’t miss the anxiety that it brought. Within 48 hours of deactivating, I felt better then I had in years (no not manic). I woke up and didn’t instantly fill with dread. Before you say it is just a website, it brought me lots of anxiety and stress. Another thing I realized since deactivating, I wasn’t thankful for my real circle of friends. Both online and off (believe it are not, I don’t hate social media), when I told my circle they all supported me. The friends I talked to a ton through messenger, were quick to give me their number. They didn’t write me off, they understood. They want whats best for me. I do know that you can keep messenger active when you deactivate, I knew though that wouldn’t be a good idea for me. If you want to deactivate messenger I will include how at the bottom.

Back to what I realized, my circle and not realizing how great they are. I saw groups of friends, that I wanted to be a part but no mattered how I tried I wasn’t. It hurt, these people weren’t mean to me; no they were extremely nice to my face. Just when I tried to reach out to them to do things, it was never reciprocated. Being on Facebook, reminded me of how I felt in high school. Always and outsider never an insider. I realize now, I have a circle they are amazing. We may not hang out as much as we want (most of us introverts too, so when we have a day off we want to recharge). I am awkward, and not the cute & quirky kind. I want friends that accept me and awkwardness; which means I say some off the wall things (they call me on it and help me learn), they accept that I have odd interests, and I talk about social media a lot (it just won’t be facebook anymore).

If you are feeling overwhelmed with what you are seeing on Facebook; remember it is basically a highlight reel of peoples lives. That you too can deactivate to take a break or delete the apps off your phones. It doesn’t have to be permanent.

If you would like to follow me elsewhere:

Youtube

Instagram

Twitter

Lastly; how to deactivate facebook messenger. Step one; open app and tap on your profile picture. Next scroll down to legal and policies, and choose deactivate messenger. You will have to enter your password, but then messenger will also be deactivated.

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