Last year I talked about going back to school to become a real estate agent. Well, I lasted like a month in school before my mental health blew up. I probably should have been hospitalized last summer. Getting out of bed was literally painful. A medication changed help but didn’t complete fix it. So I stopped doing the work for the program, and things started looking up. It took me till March to admit to myself and C that I wasn’t gonna be able to mentally handle working. So now I need to find an attorney to help with the process of getting disability. And if you have problem with me looking for assistant, keep it to yourself until you walk in my shoes. Even after admitting this, and things looking up I still ended up in the mental hospital for a week over Easter holiday, for suicidal and homicidal thoughts. And with that stay I had to change providers to one covered by my insurance after paying cash since January because the providers on my insurance all work out of MHMR. And I will say that having gone through MHMR when I didn’t have insurance after Ollie was born, I felt like I was a cattle being put through a chute. Enough about that, I am now being seen by an MHMR provider in my home county. I have seen my provider twice and he is gruff but sadly I have no other choice (That Rant is a whole other post, comment if you want me to write it). So much happened this spring that I can’t talk about cause it isn’t my story alone to tell but lets just say that I became strong enough to get rid of some of the toxicity in my life. Doing so I feel so much better then I have felt better in years. Mental health is unpredictable and who knows where I will be in a few weeks.