Blank Wall’s

With the packing for the upcoming move in full swing it makes me a little sad to be closing the door on this place. It is the place we brought Ian home from the hospital. As I take pictures down off the wall and wrap them safely before placing them in boxes, I am overcome by sadness. I have always been this way, my room growing up never had blank walls. I love to be surrounded by pictures of my friends and family. I have been this way for as long as I can remember. As all of the touches that made this place become my own are stripped from the walls, contents removed from the cabinets and as closets are emptied.  I feel a little lost amongst the sea of cardboard boxes. What does one do during the transition to not lose there mind?

I am feeling very lost right now as if you couldn’t tell. Maybe it is the move that is making me feel like I am lost but I am at a crossroads in my life right now,you may wonder why it is that I think that I am at a cross road? Well I am going to try and go back to school in the spring, I am going to start slow and only take one online class. I wish I could say that this was certain, but due to unknown fiances  we won’t know until later.I am excited about the possibility of going back to school, I miss learning. I have finally decided on a major that takes me out of retail, something that is more family friendly. I am both scared and excited by this choice. What is this choice you ask, I am going to major in history with a minor in German. I am hoping to use this degree to teach high school US. history and maybe a few German classes thrown in. I am also so very lost on my walk with God that I think that it has begun to effect my personal life. I want to get back into going to church but I the thought of having to attend an unknown amount of churches to find the one that works best for us is a daunting challenge. We have decided to go off any form of birth control and let what happens, happen.  I know that this is exciting news for my family but please don’t ask me every time I talk with you if I am pregnant yet. We will tell everyone when it happens when we are good and ready. I see why I feel lost, I am surrounded by unknown. Wish me luck as I make the unknown become known. 

9 Replies to “Blank Wall’s”

  1. Whew. It is hard to think straight with all that change. I have always hated moving since it is something I did A LOT – 14 states and 20 houses before I was thirty. BUT the one thing that always happens with a move is a bit of a fresh start. I think the German thing is fascinating and is something so rare these days. I hope that you get to start soon.

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  2. ((hugs)) my friend….. you are like me, taking on a million things at once! i too want to go back to school for the spring semester. soooo scary, but i know it will be better for me. Good luck with the move and the possible "addition" to the family!! xoxo

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  3. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers with everything going on in your life right now. I know everything will work out how it is supposed to. Good luck with the move and everything else going on. That's really awesome about choosing history and German. I would love to know that language!

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  4. That is a lot of change! But it all seems very positive. Hang in there and take one step at a time. You can only face what is yours today at this time!

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  5. You'll feel a lot better just getting back in touch with you walk with God.Good luck with everything else, you have a lot on your plate!

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  6. I remember leaving the home that I brought my babies home in. It was sad but I was excited to have a bigger home too. I took lots of pictures because I knew that my oldest wouldn't remember much of it, and my youngest wouldn't remember any of it.How exciting to go back to school. That's what I love about homeschooling, the ability to learn along with my kids!Do you really feel lost in your walk with Him, or maybe you just are feeling a bit lonely and homesick for some fellowship? Sometimes, we can have that feeling if we've been away from church awhile, and really, it's just God calling us to Him! We can never really be lost, because He is always right there whenever we call….whether we feel Him or not.I promise I won't ask about a baby until you tell!BTW, I am having a free blog makeover giveaway.

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  7. Good luck with everything! It sounds like you have a lot going on right now. I do hope that you are able to find a church that suits you and your family. 🙂

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  8. I completely understand where you are coming from. While I love the adventure of a new place, I hate leaving an old home. Once it's empty it just feels wrong to me. I really hope you are able to continue your degree. I love history, so that major rocks (well, I would switch the minor to French, but I may need to learn German at some point). As for your walk with God, I have found for me that the most important step is realizing you want to stroll with Him, then you just keep walking. Sometimes you'll fall behind, but He waits. And congrats on the decision for another baby! So exciting!

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