Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness

I grew up hearing this mantra repeated over and over again.It is true I would imagine, but it sure as hell helps. Things have been rough over the past few weeks, tiffs (arguments) have happened over stupid things and not so stupid things. The one reoccurring thing we fight about is groceries, how much is spend for what we get. I want to get away from using prepackaged they cost more in the long run and aren’t healthy. How can I show him that fresh is better in the long run or frozen even is better then hamburger helper. I don’t know how to explain to my husband these things are healthy.

Now on to what we have been arguing about, I think all of the stress of life are finally catching up with Casey and when they do instead of talking with me he starts to disconnect. It annoys me to no end. And this time of year is a rough time of year for me (that post is in the works). So while he disconnects I pull back because I need him to reach out and need me. I know from previous conversations when I point this out to him that he feels like he is burdening me when he talks about what is bothering me. I don’t know how to explain to any other way that is what I am here for to help bear his burdens. Then the worst part of all this is we then forget, don’t have time or Don’t make the effort to reconnect physically.

I never realized until recently how much that physically intimacy effects us, we aren’t an all over each other couple, but the subtle gestures happen often in our home. When they aren’t happen we are quicker to snap at each other, quicker to start arguing, you get the point. I don’t like being that way with each other. With the little intimacies not happening, that means the big intimacy is not happening.

With some discussion Casey realized that He can’t withdraw from me and have the big intimacy when ever he wants. I am not just there to relieve tension, I need romance and to be wooed some. I know that those things are not as high a priority when worries of money, life, jobs, and other stress overcome but we all should remember (not just Casey) that your partner is the person who is there to help you overcome all your stresses.

7 Replies to “Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness”

  1. My husband has similar tactics for dealing with stress, the withdrawal. We have had to work on that a lot. Don't know if it would help but there is a book The Total Money Makeover that is really helpful if you go through it together, it can help you get on the same page money-wise. Having a written budget as they suggest in that book has really made a huge difference for us. If we know how much is budgeted for each category and we are both on board we can stay within that amount each month and it doesn't matter who does the shopping, as long as it stays within the category, we won't have to argue about it. It has helped with a lot of money discussions I think. Of course we get in arguments over the amounts in each category when we set it up and review it every 3-4 months, but that happens less frequently than day-to-day so that is nice.


  2. I too notice that when we are stressed about things we connect less physically, even though that would be the time it would be nice to have that us time to connect. I think you are on the right track with fresh/healthy foods. And frozen Bertolli meals are fairly cheap (we always have coupons for $1.00 off which helps) and we add extra shrimp and veggies. It's supposed to serve 2, but it's quite a bit of food, so we add some extras and make it 2 meals for us. Finances are the hardest thing to talk about, but the most important. Even if you 2 argue, at least you are discussing it, and working toward an agreement. Hope things get better!


  3. Well…I can totally relate to the financial situation. All I can say is try to be as positive as possible…things will improve eventually.


  4. "With the little intimacies not happening, that means the big intimacy is not happening."Great quote. If I were 15% bitchier than I already am I'd write it on a post-it note and stick it to the fridge.


  5. JJ, I love it I think I will write that on our marker board on the fridge and see how long it take him too notice. CBG: I am constantly reminding my self this too shall pass. J: Thanks, I will look that up. Kalee: Thanks for the suggestion.


  6. Aaron likes to disconnect also. If it starts to be an argument he will just top talking, and it annoys me.We're trying to get past it


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